18 Jun 2010

got the blues!

Im having the biggest wobble of my recent practice! I really dont like my work! I dont like color and Im using colors! I love the process of natural dyeing but I dont like working with color in my art, I like browns and blacks ! maybe Im not doing enough drawing.
I know people really like the birds and thats lovely and I wish I could really enjoy them too.
I made a piece yesterday and when Id finished I just hated it!! it was a scale I havent worked on for a while and that may have added to the shock but mainly I think its the colors, I must try and work with colors I like rather than try to be accurate to the colors of the birds! I need to get some brown birds started!
Hopefully Im just having a little wobble and will wake up very soon and think 'what was I worried about they are all lovely!'
(I am thinking of a series of dead bird pictures as a cathartic exercise to say good bye to the birds!)
here is the work I made yesterday.
I really prefer the back of the canvas!
sorry to whinge! Im sure Ill be brighter in a few days, not really sure whats the matter. Art wise I need to play more and stop worrying, I do put to much presure on myself to complete works and have finished ideas in the few hours a week I get to do stuff!!!.
Im thinking of having a give away again very soon maybe that will be a good start to cheer me up!
xx jenny


  1. I totally understand what you mean, Jenny. Don't put too much pressure on yourself & on your creative mind. You don't like colors for your work, these days ? Then don't use it for a moment. See if you prefer it this way. Noone obliges you to use color. I love black & white (I adored the back that you showed), and brown & white too. They have a more "primitive" feeling. Remove the colors from your future creations, step back & try to see if you feel happier this way.
    Of course, this is my 2 cents. But I think that when something bothers you, then you have to take it out of your way, and see if it was that that made you unhappy.
    I'm sure you'll work everything out, and that you'll create more happily very soon.

  2. I'd agree with Sonia...we're always hardest on ourselves. Forget colour for a while (for ever if need be). The reverse of your swallow piece above does look particularly interesting. The lack of colour makes you focus more on the stitched lines which are super.
    (Put the pieces which you're not happy with away in a cupboard & forget about them for a while)
    Keep your chin up Jenny!

  3. thanks guys! I already feel much better just for voicing my concerns! I have spent a few hours drawing and my mojo has been revived! xx

  4. hi there! .....tried to find your blog when you started following mine but then I lost you- have found you again - and am so glad!

    I completely understand what you are going through - especially with the bird theme.........I have been feeling that way too about my birds........
    but; am glad you are feeling better and are moving on with everything - am looking forward to seeing what comes of it
    I agree with what the above two have said - and I really liked the back of the latest birds (altho.......I did like the front too -) your freedom of movement in the stitching is great


  5. I have been here, experience this too Jenny,.... it is hard but I am rarely satisfied with my work, always wanting to get to something yet intangible.... I find that it is this struggle that keeps me interested. I am finding it easier to worry less these days mostly because I know from experience it does not help me get closer to what I feel is a truth worth exploring....but there are days of panic and despair, and I have to remind myself they will pass.... take care and enjoy x

  6. Oh Jenny, I love your birds. I have just been working with swallows this week. In case you might be interested, in "animal speak" they represent soaring with style and agility, moving in grace on light energy, staying above, held aloft by air currents and tail winds. I love your word wobble. Your birds would be lovely in any color, or no color. You will soon soar again. :)

  7. you are the artist - it is your work, you have to be happy with it!
    I find myself worying too much what other people are looking for - you have to remember your art is a part of you. (at least you haven't taken to drawing faces on eggs...)

    Good luck


  8. Do you know about the artist Anette Messager?
    She picked up dead birds from the side of the road, knit tiny jackets and shawls for them and pinned them down like butterflies.
    I don't know if this haves any significance, but: you don't have to make cute things just to make cute things. Maybe you should start from materials and work that makes you happy or more close to you and evolve from there? Maybe don't plan beforehand what you want your work to look like? Ahh anyway this sounds very normal to me, not liking your own work.

  9. Thanks so much everyone! such kind and wise words from all!
    I feel much better after spending sometime today just getting back to drawing and messing.
    Its strangely good to know everyone can relate and sad we all have to feel that way from time to time.
    I think less worrying and more messing is the answer. thanks Do your advise about starting from materials and not planning is a very clear reminder of where I always go wrong!
    thanks you wonderful blogging friends x

  10. I just read the last two posts.. so I'm commenting after you've come out of your "wobble"... but... I agree with you that the most interesting work
    ( though I have like your birds) is the back of the canvas- the lines and simplicity I really love - and the backwards writing!! Seeing the stitching so, it feels like lose gesture drawings as one sees connecting lines here and there. Lovely. I like the idea of doing a series of dead bird drawings, and glad to be a new follower of your blog. I've like the journey so far!

    Blessings from the forest...

  11. Hi Jenny,

    I really thought I was following you and realise I wasn't (am now!) I love your work and I think I mixed you up with another blog I follow . . .hhhmmm anyhow, been catching up with some of your work and it's great! I have the same issue with colour ie. I like it but often not in my work. I like muted tones of sandy, sepia, blacks and whites and greys . . . yet everyone now and then a part of me pops up and shouts COLOUR NEEDED!

    At the moment I am working toward a show and am currently working on a muted tone quilt piece and a vibrant bright colourful other textile piece (I can never work on one thing at a time!) and it will be interesting to see what comes of it all especially when it is hung together!

    I do hope the art e-course continues to help you with any art challenges you have at the mo! :)


  12. I've just found your blog after you commented on mine. I love your work and your blog. I know what you mean about having a wobbly about your work, i think it's probably a good thing to do so every so often, rather that go blindly on without thinking. But from what I have seen of your work so far I think you are great with colour.

    But then black and brown are wonderful too. You were asking for brown birds. Have you met a Dunnock before? I've only recently discovered what I always thought was a sort of sparrow in my garden is in fact a little dunnock. I'm in love with them now. sleek little dull bird, keeps out of the spotlight, secretly beautiful.


Thanks for stopping by xx